How to build deeper, more robust relationships | Carole Robin (Stanford GSB professor, “Touchy Feely”)

Carole Robin spent over 20 years teaching the Stanford Graduate School of Business course Interpersonal Dynamics, affectionately known as “Touchy Feely.” After leaving Stanford, she founded a nonprofit called Leaders in Tech, which applies the Touchy Feely principles to help Silicon Valley executives build their leadership and interpersonal skills. Carole co-authored the popular book Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues, which shares key insights from her decades of teaching these courses. In our conversation, we discuss:• The benefits of building robust relationships, in life and work• The 15% rule, and how it will help you build better relationships• The power of vulnerability• Examples of how to practice vulnerability• Why mental models you build early in life hold you back later• The “three realities” and “the net”• The art of inquiry• Practical tips for avoiding defensiveness when getting feedback• The impact of long Covid on Carole’s life—Brought to you by:• Eppo—Run reliable, impactful experiments• CommandBar—AI-powered user assistance for modern products and impatient users• The a16z Podcast—Featuring conversations with the founders and technologists shaping our future—Find the transcript at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/build-robust-relationships-carole-robin—Where to find Carole Robin:• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carole-robin/• Email: carolerobinllc@gmail.com—Where to find Lenny:• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/—In this episode, we cover:(00:00) Carole’s background(05:17) The importance of building robust relationships(10:20) The “Touchy Feely” course at Stanford(13:29) An example of the in-class experience(17:19) Leaders in Tech: developing interpersonal competence(21:36) Progressive disclosure and the 15% rule(24:28) Appropriate disclosure(26:52) The power of vulnerability(34:57) Admitting mista